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Thursday 28 March 2019

BIRD FEEDERS AND THE ATLANTIC ACCORD

Guest Post by "Agent 13"
Bird Feeders and The Atlantic Accord
(who's running this place anyway) 

We have all heard the old joke about the Alien looking down at St. John’s and seeing humans picking up after their dogs, coming to the conclusion that the dogs must be in charge. 

This got me wondering what the same Alien might conclude if they listened to our local News.

Could they identify our Leaders?

For starters, a totally stressed City Council have figured out the pressing issue is that “some” people in St. John’s have too many bird feeders. They want an immediate stop to the trend. The City plans a new by-law. 

Next, the Provincial Government announces that they have not figured out how to remove garbage from cabins but will cancel garbage pick-up just in case it works.

And for good measure, they want to bring back the good ol' days when people fired trash in the woods. Good job there, Graham Letto!

Of course, at the bottom of all of this is the idea that the cabin owners won’t have to pay. How often does the Government get to do a little electioneering without it showing up in the deficit? Genius. See, “The Way Forward” is working.
Limit yourself to two, please.
Then, too, instead of dismantling Nalcor we are going to break it up and have even more Crown Corporations. Wow, a new Oil and Gas Company…the waste from the latest fiasco not even tallied. 

Hey, wait a Gosh darn minute, now buddy. You forgot the politics of this major public policy decision. Oh right. A new name awaits?  (Suggestion: call it BLUFF INC. It’s shorter than Nalcor and it would be instantly more transparent, too.)

Yes, the Government is borrowing money to buy shares in an oil field that we already own. But what’s your point? There are always winners and losers. Take one of the winners, a former former Deputy Minister, for example. The government triples his wages to $340,000 and lets him live on the Continent.

Besides, who would care when there are over 100 “consultants” on the Lower Churchill Project making even more? At least the rest of us are comfortable knowing that the culture of government smells like it always did.

The politicians are going to the PUB for help to figure out the electrical rate mess caused by Muskrat Falls. This, after the PUB was removed from the review in the first place. Sort of ironic, isn’t it?  No one has a clue how to fix the mess. There is even confusion whether the PUB is actually a MINT. The buggers are so stunned they don’t know that’s in Ottawa.

Finally, what's the news on the Atlantic Accord? (Arguably the most important document to NL next to the Terms of Union.)   Sorry. Nothing is going on that isn't going on behind closed doors.  Our leaders in the Provincial Government know best. Stand by for the good news!!

Except, this is the same government which gave away many of the benefits of the White Rose Extension and bought shares in the Bay du Nord project which provides for little to no local fabrication.

The government says, trust us - we know what we are doing. We know what's best for the people of NL. That's why, echoes of Danny, we wait for Dwight to say: “WE GOT IT!”

Meanwhile, in the Executive Offices of Nalcor, delusion appears to have overtaken a second CEO. There are reports that, inexplicably, by mid-afternoon Stan Marshall takes to running for his guitar. Marshall has a single repertoire. He plays only the ballad of John King. That would be fine except that in place of “Big Bad John” what is heard throughout the entire blue building are the words: “FINISH STRONG”.

The Alien was right. This place has gone to the dogs!! 


Agent #13